China Beach & Growing Pains

Two shows I remember from my youth...This blog is going to serve as the wall in the kitchen where I mark how much I'm growing - hence "Growing Pains." It isn't as measureable as getting taller, and there won't be other marks to compare it to, but it is out here for anyone who cares to see. "China Beach" is in reference to the theme song (see link) and the reflective purpose this blog serves.

This year is really the first time I have forced myself to reflect on my career. I have finally started to figure out my own personal situation. It is my fifth year teaching, so before there wasn't a lot of material to really reflect on. Every year my job seemed to change a little bit. Now I am in my second consecutive year as a bilingual kindergarten teacher, teaching all the content areas. Hooray for continuity! 

For the last three to four years my personal life was infringing  on my professional growth. Last February I finally made the decision to get out of my (sham of a) marriage.  The experience of the relationship was like being caught in a rip-tide. It came on so quickly and that in order to keep afloat with the circumstances I found myself in I kept swimming towards the shore, reaching for solid ground. I finally came to the realization that I had to swim straight perpendicularly out of the current altogether and get out of the pull of the past because I wasn't getting any closer to shore.  I am finally back on the beach, exhausted from swimming, but happy to feel the sun and sand in my toes again.  I found someone else crawling back on the beach after being sucked on in a similar (and possibly even worse) rip-tide.  Knowing he is a strong enough swimmer to get back on shore after that makes me feel comfortable enough to get back in the water and wade around a bit. Plus he looks great in swim trunks.

Since I am safely back on dry land, I have decided to move forward with my professional development through a professional development certificate and graduate courses.  It has been a challenge to finish things between working full time, my son (who is two and a half) and other commitments. My lack of organization and time management have been pulling me under from making progress, but after the events of the last few years I think I am tough enough to manage it and become a more organized person as a result. Sometimes it is hard to remember how to reprioritize objectively after being through an experience that was nearly all-consuming. My new professional goals are going to force me to ultimately look first at personal goals I have always had: to prioritize more effectively in order to manage my time better and actually complete projects.  That last sentence is completely uncharacteristic of me.  It is almost a little scary. I want to be that person, but I don't know her.