Fixability

Lately I have been struggling... things are falling apart. I found out today that the 15 credits I managed to fit in between working full-time, having a baby, a marriage, and a divorce in the last five years now only count for a "good for you."  Like many beginning teachers, I am struggling financially. I never wanted to admit it thinking I could fix it. I've cut things out, neglected to buy new clothes, and shamefully relied on my family. So much for a professional. I don't know what to fix anymore. I don't know what do duct tape. I am starting to abandon hope that I will ever get out of this mess since Walker's bill has frozen my pay, and the new deductions out of my check for insurance and pension will put me at less than what I made my first year teaching. Despair. There is no other word for it.

I got my tax return. It was a bright spot. I had planned to get a new computer since mine is 7 years old and sloow. And then between gas prices, Andy breaking the bows off my glasses, and having to break a window to get into my own house after locking myself out while fixing the sump pump hose.. it's pretty much gone. Everything is breaking before I can even fix one thing. I can't find a way out of my morass of monetary issues anymore.I feel... stupid and betrayed.