In the theme of 'ability words, I first have to say that I was feeling some irritability after I finished this blog over several hours, having to come back to it and then losing it when I hit publish at the end after not saving it. Anyways....Merriam-Webster dictionary defines vulnerable as "1. capable of being physically, 2. emotionally wounded or open to attack or damage." Vulnerability has been pervading through my psyche as of late. Over a year ago, I went through a marital-exodus. It was an exodus insignificantly along the lines of Moses (but much less Charleton Heston-y) in that I felt oppressed and I was letting this "marriage" go. There was nothing dignified left to save, just as the slaves in Egypt left little behind to travel into the desert with Moses, although they sure complained a lot. Freedom sometimes has a price in creature-comforts. Anyways, I'm sure they complained as they felt vulnerable. I too have felt vulnerable at times, but have found comfort in unity.
I have lost my sense of vulnerability when experiencing a new religion first-hand by sharing that experience with others.
I pushed aside vulnerability in exchange for trust in a relationship where I am bonded not only through similar interests and passions, but also from the same viewpoint of what it is like to be on the other side of infidelity. Entering through that door of vulnerability first has put me in a new place of trust, love, and companionship that I thought I would never know. I have met his family and known exactly how he feels when he sits with mine.
When the "news" sources called teachers "lazy, greedy, and slobs" I felt vulnerable and sought out company, and found strength. Strength not only in my fellow teachers, but multiplied exponentially by the smiles and words of municipal workers, firefighters, law enforcement, roadcrew, and private sector unions like plumbers, electricians, nurses, boilermakers, journeymen, etc.
So when you feel vulnerable at the party, find the other person standing alone in the corner with their drink, or have one and sing a karaoke solo on your own. Remember that on the first day of school, everyone is nervous (including the teacher), so smile knowing you aren't alone. When you are uncomfortable, unless you are a defendant on trial, chances are someone else in that room is just as vulnerable as you. There is comfort in unity and strength in numbers. Know that when any one person is vulnerable to attack, there are people in your corner to ice your cuts or at worst, catch you if you get knocked down.
And I write this today for the first time alone in my house, but not feeling alone at all.